Is Your Relationship Dealing with “Financial Cheating”?

Money is the number one reason for divorce. How does that happen? Typically, relationships are eroded through financial infidelity. Cheating with money occurs in 1 out of 3 marriages, destroying trust in its wake. This can have just as much of an impact on your relationship as any other type of infidelity. A lie unravels the emotional connection, which is the foundation of a relationship. In the 2005 Harris poll, 96% of those surveyed stated that it was the obligation of each partner to be honest about expenditures.

Is this impacting your relationship? Here are some of the signs. Do you (or your spouse):
– Hide new clothes in the back of the closet, or the trunk of the car
– Lie about purchases, and how much money was spent
– Use shopping as a form of therapy
– Have a secret credit card

Recognize where this behavior comes from. Was this a part of your childhood? How did this behavior impact your parents and family? What were some of the long term effects? What can you do to prevent this in your home?

One of our program users recently had several “aha” moments about her childhood. Her parents always fought about money. Her mother is a spender, who frequently used credit cards to their limit. It is hard to say whether the arguments started because of the credit card use, or the credit card use started because of the arguments. Typically, her mother would hide those purchases, hide credit card statements, and was evasive about spending. Their marriage was always on the brink of divorce and financial ruin. As an adult, Jennifer fights the urge to spend when she is unhappy. What keeps her on track, is remembering those arguments, and how hurtful they were to her father. She is motivated to stay on track as a commitment to her husband.

If you see this problem in your own relationship, talk with your spouse. Before you can change your bad habits you must first identify them clearly. Make a commitment to be completely honest about all income and expenses. Just like any other issue, communication is the key to overcoming this issue and building a strong relationship with a successful financial future.

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